Dead!

my room is super duper messy. I'm suppose to start packing up stuffs into the boxes. Well I've already started, but baru sikit lah... cuz suddenly I just feel so dizzy and tired.

I'm weak. and getting weaker now. I dunno whats wrong with me now. The condition of the room is not helping at all. I feel like i'm in the garbage room instead of a place to relax. I wish I have the energy. But for now.. I can't even think. I can't even find ways to get organized.

Well I can say, the room resembles how I'm feeling right now. berserabut. maybe I have too much worries that distract me from trying to have a peaceful life. Worries that have led me to this. Worries that made me feel i'm like the loser of the world. Worries that made me feel like I have no future.

I shud be very happy, cuz I have the best friends who always support me. Friends that always know how to cheer me up. They who understand me the best. I thank God for that. But they have tried their best just to make me smile. in fact, they're the reason why I keep on smiling and hanging on. I love them.

when im outside, i feel so free. so happy. i can enjoy the surroundings, enjoy the company of my beloved friends... basically i can actually forget about the stuffs that have been messing around in my head. But thats when I'm not in this garbage centre. As I step my foot into this place, all happy, calm and relaxed feelings flew away. I started to feel very depressed and mad at myself. I can't help it but to start worrying and thinking.. and that will made me feel so down and made me feel like im the biggest loser in the world.

Can somebody pull me into the world of fantasy? where everything in the end will be happily ever after?

I just need to keep myself occupied with activities. But I can't do it alone.

i'm a loser. sheesh.